Judge not that ye be not judged...

Recently I read a conversation in a group I'm a part of on face book. It was a conversation between two women who did not know each other at all. One of these ladies had posted pictures that the other lady felt were immodest and because it is a Christian group, the second lady pointed this out to the first. Given what I just said its easy to see which of these two ladies was exercising judgement on the other right? Obviously if one child of God has an issue with something another child of God does and shares that with him or her that is being judgmental. Or at least that is what the current popular opinion would say. 

Here is the thing though, the second lady in this scenario was very gentle. She did not use harsh words, she did not say anything about what was posted being 'wrong' or 'sinful' or any such thing. She did not in any way insinuate that the first lady was intending to be inappropriate. She stated her point in a very loving way, used careful wording, and made it clear that she did not want to sound harsh at all. The first lady, however, handled the situation very differently. Her words were angry. She accused the second lady of all sorts of evil and unholy intentions. She used harsh words to defend herself, when in reality she was not being attacked at all and would have known that had she read the comments with an open heart. 

So here is what is rattling around in my little brain about all of this. What if we have it all wrong? What if "Judge not that ye be not judged" does not mean "don't ever reprove or correct another Christian so that you never have to deal with reproof or correction yourself" but rather means "Do not be quick to jump to conclusions about the feelings and intentions of another person so that others will respect you and grant you the same grace." Perhaps I am being too liberal with my interpretation but it seems to me that we use the 'judge not' verse as a weapon and shield to protect ourselves from the growth that we could experience through the input of other believers in our lives. 

Let me put in a disclaimer right here: there have been times in my life that I'v been accused of judging, and times in my life that I was guilty of judging. I'm quite sure that both will happen again. But I don't want it to. I want to be an open book- a believer and follower of Jesus who takes correction with grace and holds her tongue from any words that are not healing. That is what I strive for, but have not yet attained. So please understand that Jesus is working in my heart about this, which is why I felt I needed to write about it. 

Its never easy to take correction. Its much easier to say "YOU ARE JUDGING ME, BACK OFF" than it is to listen to another person, examine our lives, and say "you are right, I see a weakness in myself." The dictionary defines the verb 'judge' like this: to form an opinion or conclusion about. Now sometimes we do that by accusing others when we should keep our opinions to ourselves. And sometimes we do that when we by deciding that the concerns others have about us are groundless. 

We make all kinds of judgements every day. We judge that someone is dirty or smelly or unsafe for our children to be around. We judge that someone is kind or gentle or a good influence on our kids. These are normal parts of life and generally don't hurt us or the ones we are 'judging' so to speak. The problem comes in when we make these conclusions and then use them to attack another person- whether that be by chastising them when we don't actually know the situation or by defending ourselves from correction by declaring another person judgmental and out of line. 

I believe, after much pondering and praying, that the bottom line is this: the verse "Judge not that ye be not judged" is addressed to each individual person. We are responsible to ensure that WE are not judging others, not that they are not judging us. We can only control our own attitudes, not the attitudes of those around us. We can love, and pray, and seek to bring restitution when Jesus lays that on our hearts. But when it comes to judging- well thats in God's hands.