Twice... Twice I stood at the same altar and vowed to stay true to something. Twice I knelt and was blessed by a man I deeply respect, a man who has faithfully taught the Word of God for as long as I can remember. Twice I publicly and permanently committed to things I can only keep by the grace of God. My family was there, my friends, my church... They support me, they love me, pray for me, carry me when I am too weak to walk. Was it my choice to make those vows? Yes. I battled long and hard with the decision to be baptized and join the Mennonite church. It was not a light choice for me, not a no-brainer. When Strider and I were dating I fought the demons of my past and my fears and by the grace of God, and by His intervention, I slew them and chose to spend my life with this man who rocks my world.
Twice... Two white dresses.
I did make those choices, but my friends I was given everything I needed to make them. Parents who love me, siblings who care deeply about my welfare, a grandmother who prays faithfully for me, a ministry whose deepest desire for me is that I serve the Lord... From little up I knew I was loved. Yes there were bumps, hurts, life shattering incidences that I wish had never happened. But still, for me, me who had those two white dresses to stand in judgement of anyone for making choices I deem as foolish or self destructive... I don't have that right.
That is why, when I see the hurt and pain in the world, alcohol abuse, sex addiction, drug usage, whatever it may be, I pray with all my heart that God will give me the wisdom to remember my two white dresses and the fact that it is His blood that saved me from those vices and not my choices.
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