A thought bubble burst...

"Please... leave a... message. My name is Nettie... Schrock." Her voice rolls over me like a warm ocean wave and the tears hit me right in the back of the throat. In an instant my brain and heart are alive with memories. I was expecting to hear my mama's voice, not hers'. I close my phone and try mom's cell. "Hey Babe" I smile. Mom's voice is so like grandma's and for a second I revel in the sweetness that is mine because of these two wonderful women. "Hey mom! How is grandma?" I listen as mom gives me the reports from the hospital. At least tonight she does not tease me about the "nice young man who was grandma's nurse this evening.  He is just your age, and taller than you!" I'm grateful for that, although I prefer it to the not totally good report she has for me. As she talks the memories slide through my head like electric eels in an aquarium tank. Memories sweeter than most anything I'v known throughout my entire 24 yrs. That trip grandma and I took to M.O. when I was a teenager and they had such a bad snow storm... She told me on that trip "Sometimes you do things to make others happy. That doesn't always mean your not being true to yourself, it can just mean your being a peace maker." She taught (or tried to teach) me how to drive in snow on that trip. There are the myriad times we'v sat up late together, playing games or talking. All the hugs, her gentle hand on mine, the way the light plays in her beautiful white hair... All the times she has cooked for me when I stopped in for the night on my way somewhere. The times she has hosted my friends when they needed her. The times she has looked at me and known my heart even when I didn't know it myself. There is the Maple Cookies she always buys when I am coming, and always sends with me when I leave. All the times she has teased me about  someone she considers to be perfect for me (in spite of the fact that he is only about 23 yrs older than I am... Silly Grandma) and her laugh... How I LOVE her laugh! I love when she chuckles that little "Humph" sound way down deep in her chest. Love when she laughs until she cries. Love when she laughs at herself, at Fritz, at a grandchild, and most of all when she laughs at me. I love that she, and mostly only she, understands about drinking Basic H water and throwing up bubbles. She totally gets it that I tried to cook and eat horse feed because it smells good and is cheap. She giggles over every blonde or stupid thing I do and she always has a story to match it! I love her. I love to see her, know her, and know that a part of her lives in me.